A Date With Lady Kaede

Autumn is closing in, and with it comes evenings snuggled up with the cat to watch movies. I saw Ran the other night. I saw it years ago in the IFC and thought it was great, but for some reason I'd never gotten it out on DVD, although I love historical epics.

I couldn't remember if it was Ran or Throne of Blood that contained one of my Favourite Scenes Ever, in which a scheming woman falls weeping to the feet of a man in order to get him to do something awful and while he looks away, stricken, she takes the opportunity to crush a moth on the floor in the folds of her kimono. Well, it's Ran, and the woman in Lady Kaede.

Aah, Lady Kaede, how could I forget you? Your absolute stillness and grace, your glacial beauty, your pathological hatred of the Ichimonji clan. She really is a great character, the sibilant whip-wheep sound of her silk robes is nearly as terrifying as Asami's 'ichi ichi ichi' in Audition.

But having watched the film with its audio commentaries (Film Studies professor and a mate of Kurosawa's) I find I object to the characterisation of her as a great schemer. Kaede does work towards the destruction of the Ichimonji but she hardly needs to plot their downfall. It is Hidetora who puts events in motion, all it takes for Kaede is to direct those events just a little, vanity, greed and ambition of Hidetora and his sons do the rest for her. Where Kaede's real skill lies is in her ability to exploit her moment. When Jiro plots the death of his brother with his vassals they laugh at the easy pickings until Jiro says 'His wife, the Lady Kaede, is a different matter' and then they all go silent.

A different matter indeed.

Quest for Fire: You're doing it ALL wrong

I forget how I found this, but when I did I immediately thought "This is the film that Ian told me that Gavin told him about." And so I took it home and put it on. The best thing about this movie is that there is no dialogue per se, so basically make your own as you watch it.

So. Fire. We need it, we don't have it. Send Dominant Alpha Male, Tough Beta Male and Sidekick male to get some before we all die of hypothermia. Hijinks with cannibals, naked homines sapientes and saber-toothed tigers ensue.

The most famous scene of the movie involves the scene where the more evolved Ika manoeuvres herself under Alpha to teach him that it's much more fun for both of them when the sex is belly to belly, and not, as some of my older textbooks would say, coitus a tergo (this was on the principle that if you were going to be kinky and indulge anything other than the church-sanctioned missionary position you should be educated, or perverse, enough to read Latin). And it's a great scene, made greater by the fact that they are sheltering under a tiny rock shelf as it's pissing down rain while Beta and sidekick look glumly on. Beta (Ron Perlman in his first role) then pats Sidekick's thigh in an 'any port in a storm' kind of way and is vigorously rebuffed.

It's very entertaining, you should watch it. And after you've done that listen to Ron Perlman and Rae Dawn Chong (Ika) give the commentary: 'I was so cold' 'I thought I was going to die' 'Look at my breasts' 'Man you were gorgeous' 'I wanted to kill Annaud' 'Me too. Me too'.

Vor really does mean 'Thief'

I watched Eastern Promises on DVD last night. Here are some of my thoughts:
a) Damn, Viggo Mortensen.
b) How much vodka do I have left in the freezer? Better get some more.
c) Cronenberg got the leather jackets spot on.
d) I wonder if compass star tattoos will become the new Maori sleeve as a result of this film?
e) This is the greatest male nude wrestling scene EVAH!
f) Has anyone else noticed that Cronenberg and Mortensen look like father and son? They are the spit of each other.
g) The make up girl in the corner is totally checking out Viggo as he gets his tats applied for a scene. Proper order.
h) Damn, Viggo Mortensen.